I want to have your abortion
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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