you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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