office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I need to stop coming to work sober
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
