I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
