We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
