well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
