i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
