i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
