adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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