You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
