Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
