Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize