To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
only you would photoshop your dick
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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