You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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