i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
