Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
