Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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