See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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