is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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