The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
