Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
