The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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