reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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