dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
