i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
