fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
