Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
