Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
