i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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