i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
