So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
