My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
