I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
