you guys were way drunker than both of me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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