Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
