I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
