Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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