We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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