I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
