Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
