Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
