So drunk its hurt
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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