no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
