i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
