your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
