After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
