In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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