Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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