Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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