Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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